Another Day

What is today? Another day of being made to feel like crap for offenses that I haven't committed. How long do you think a person can feel so low and still have the will to live? I drag myself through everyday, and when I lay my head down on my pillow at night I'm surprised that I've made it. Now, I'm not saying I want to kill myself or anything of that matter, I just don't know how my body and mind can take feeling this way and still manage to be functional. Does everyone feel this way? I want to see a doctor to see if I actually have depression, anxiety, etc, but I feel like that is almost just a scapegoat. As if I'm trying to use it as an excuse for why my life isn't going the way I want it to. I want to go back to school, and I want to do great things with my life, but I just cannot ever seem to get my ducks in a line to do it. I need that little push of someone cheering me on, but I am more or less alone in this world. I have a mother and father, its not that they have passed on or anything, but I have to call them, I have to go see them, they don't go out of their way for me. I feel like it would be completely beyond their understanding if I asked them for help with anything other than simple stuff..